‘My new 12-point plan for Wanstead’


Wansteadium’s property blogger George C Parker writes:

 Friends, Wansteadians, Countrymen, welcome to 2013!

I can now exclusively reveal that yesterday, in a shady corner of an unnamed Wanstead car-park, a time capsule was breathlessly excavated by yours truly.

Grasping it eagerly from the new-turned sod, my eager fingers scrabbled to open the container. O revelation! Inside lay the January article that I had placed there for safe keeping. Behold this Richard III of a document:

Those of you who were here this time last year might remember I had some noble resolutions. Though some of them remain in draft status (others forgotten, stalled or frankly abandoned), it would be un-Churchillian of me not to carve another batch on the edifice of Time. So we didn’t get our outdoor cinema (yet), neither did I open that vintage toy shop nor throw open the doors to Parker’s Speakeasy and Wine Bar. But that’s not to say those things shouldn’t happen this year. I’m just recognising the fact that some people are better at making resolutions, and others are good at keeping them. So this time around:

 This weekend:  I’m taking the Parker velocipede into Bike Trax for a thorough spring clean. Parking restrictions etc be damned.

February: I’m going to help the Friends of Wanstead Park on one of their splendid community clean up jaunts.

March: I’m joining the golf club, their groundsman will be relieved not having to clear so much of the ‘rough’.

April: I’m storming the offices of Redbridge council in a bloodless coup. Before ceding power I will have allocated funding for complete renewal of Christchurch Green play park and commissioned a new one just by the Aldersbrook allotments.

May: I’m founding a grocery box scheme using local suppliers and old-school grocer’s pushbikes.Perhaps we’ll see something like @HubbubTweets locally soon.

June: Twinning with St Barths.

July: I’m taking up equestrianism at Aldersbrook Riding School. Depending on progress possibly founding a Polo club after that.

August: I’m having a garden party in honour of the Law if they decide not to quit leafy Wanstead Police Station.

September: I’m scooping the Wansteadium Cherry Pey trophy for Best Tart at the Festival.

October: I’m founding an urban fox refuge, 600 miles off Britain somewhere in the Atlantic.

November: I’m opening a Grand Emporium of fixtures and fittings, bits and pieces for wonderful Edwardian and Victorian houses. Lights, glassware, brassware, levers, knobs, accoutrements, and all the polishes, brushes, daubs and embrocations one should even need, all under one roof.

December:  I’m leaving clear for now, in case any of the above overruns  …

* Back in the real world, during the recent cold snap I took refuge in the Larder, where I met a charming couple with their young son. On that draughty Saturday in question, it transpired that my newfound friends were steering clear of their Gordon Road property allowing estate agents to conduct viewings that day – a mere 26 of them all told.  By lunchtime they had received a couple of offers, which gave them great optimism regarding their plans to move into a larger Nightingale estate property. I wish them well in their new home.

* According to recent results published on Wansteadium, Aldersbrook Primary School has begun to pull up its socks. Though Wanstead schools have traditionally done well in the primary tables, parents will be delighted to note Aldersbrook as the biggest climber by far among its peers. A good Ofsted report next time around should cement the revival. Good luck to the school.

* A note of caution. Many at this time of year are considering improvements or extensions to their properties, and enterprising local construction firms are copiously leafleting the area. Poor Mrs Parker did a double-take at wording on a flyer asking if we had considered a “Chigwell Porch” – she’d assumed it was something to do with cosmetic surgery.

* Finally, how gratifying it is to see the tally of e-mail subscribers rise, day by day, towards the glorious cinqucento, the demi-mille, the monkey. You can help our humble enterprise, dear one, by signing up yourself, or if already upsigned, by onpassing said e-mail to others less fortunate. Let’s crack that bally Fünf Hundert by the end of the week. Sign up here.

* You can always drop me a line  at georgecparker@wansteadium.com. All that remains for me to say is “Floreat Wansteadium!”

8 thoughts on “‘My new 12-point plan for Wanstead’”

  1. I like the idea of a speakeasy and wine bar. We were disccussing excatly this on the weekend. Wanstead needs a nice wine bar where you can sit, drink and chat in a pleasant not noisy atmosphere without a TV set. And if all of this was being done in the old Cinnamon instead of Domino’s it would be even better.
    I probably have to keep on dreaming while the next hairdresser, charity shop or take away opens up on the High Street.

  2. The wine bar should be a priority… please make it 1980s style in homage to Russell’s.

    If that doesn’t float anyone’s boat, may I suggest a micro-pub in the style of The Butcher’s Arms in Herne? http://www.micropub.co.uk/
    Who wants in? The antique shop is an ideal premises (I’m sure they won’t mind).

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