South Woodford’s fake tan does it

Wansteadium reported last week that the Wanstead Guardian had tracked down Piers Pereira, who was named in a mischievously doctored Wikipedia entry about South Woodford. Mr Pereira blamed his friend Sean Preston, who has had the chutzpah to write to the Guardian this week explaining his actions (no link available). He writes that his time living in South Woodford has been “the worst five years of my life, mainly due to the lobster-like majority that inhabits the area”.

He says he’s leaving and is moving back to Zone 2, “a mythical land of opportunity and natural complexions”. He adds:

“I find the women of South Woodford to be vulgar in appearance and thus, unlikely to encourage the desire within me requisite for courtship. In short I’m too cool, dashing, intelligent and outright good-looking to find a suitable life-partner in the area.”