Armageddon hits Wanstead on Wednesday. No cause for alarm.

It will look bad. There will be smoke billowing from the tunnel under George Green. Fire engines, police and ambulance will be there, as will people looking like casualties. But the incident – due to happen in Wanstead on Wednesday night – will really be nothing.

The smoke will be “cosmetic”. The emergency services will be real, granted, but on a training exercise. And the victims, despite bandages and stretchers, will be actors from the Casualties Union (“The original and best in casualty simulation“). So there will really be no cause for alarm.

Nearby residents are to be warned of the event on Tuesday, while the council switchboards have been alerted that people may be calling to report the event.

So in short the message will be “move along, please, there’s nothing to see here”.